when reading a book,
refrain from punching holes into walls. one day a new hole in the wall will reveal a family of squirrels living there. the next day a new hole in the wall will reveal a past where you didn't throw that girls beanie baby out the school bus window. just depends on the day of the week, minute of the hour, and if you called your mom that day.
man has no business being on top of mountains. there is nothing on a mountaintop for man to be poking their nose into. two inches of space between the mountain top and outer space. birds that fly around in this space get a high on the lack of oxygen and immediately go home to their nests and fuck up their nests. to show their chicks what kind of power they possess.
70 degrees and a modicum of sun. i am not gods favorite. if i were his favorite, it would be 75 degrees and a lot of sun. the lake is calling my name. the beach volleyball. praying in between hot and sweaty sets of beach volleyball. rubbing our bodies with sunscreen and holy water. fishing for disciples. preachers on the pontoon. thorn crowns made from lake pollution. lord lakes in lansing. the favorite collection plate is the one with barbequed hot dogs.
finding the perfect soft leaded graphite pencil. a fools errand, really. they are not made anymore. decades ago they were made. in a factory outside of branson, missouri. that factory was replaced by a country music buffet. they used the last of the pencils to fashion the life size merle haggards.
a plate of processed meats and cheeses. be careful not to set it too close to the edge of the table. the baby will get it. its reached its maximum sodium intake for the day. luxurious epsom salt baths for the baby. soon the bathtub will fall through the ceiling from how much salt has soaked through. the baby will be in it. surely a marvel superhero will save it. if not, the baby will shatter into a million orbeez. then what? thats like a million new babies. a million new wet ball babies. the dehumidifier will do unspeakable things.
working at the urban outfitters is heavenly. i get to watch hellraiser vhs tapes my entire part time shifts. i am actually in the lament configuration box. solve the puzzle to release me. the puzzle is untangling a bunch of fear of god essentials oversized hooded sweatshirts.
find me on the red carpet. conducting interviews with the hollywood stars. the creme de la creme of performance artists. doing this for as long as i have, i run out of questions to ask. i show them my wallet chain hoping to get a compliment or two. inside my wallet, a machine gun. the red carpet is actually a tower defense video game. i deploy 200 meg ryans on armored horses and 25 armie hammer catapults.
a little western style pearl snap shirt, give us a little spin in it diva. we are gonna shave an outline of a little guitar in your ass hair.
government sponsored classes are a good deal and something to consider in your later years. two classes for one. one class for half. taught by a pregnant woman that knows a lot about trains, but nothing about me. which, is ideal. sneaking into the government sponsored classes and sneaking out of the government sponsored classes. she doesnt need to know about my addictions. the government doesnt need to know about my addictions. hiding away in the bathroom ripping telephone books in half.
a game of yahtzee is nothing like how it used to be when my grandma would shoot us in the head if we dared go down into the basement as a reward for winning. there was a bar down there and an entire kitchen down there. my grandmother would chainsmoke down there and pass out in the bed next to the bar underneath the jesus pictures when the fumes from the bleach would become too much for her at 3am. but grandma, we would say, we would like to go down there and drink sodas and pretend like we are adults. she would say, no, you cannot pretend to be adults. if you do, your grandfather will be upset with me. he will force us all into our underwear and cowboy boots.
covid19 took over my body for a hot second, but i drank some milky coffee, wrote a play about pickup trucks, and watched the neighbors dog maul the leashed dog of another neighbor to death, the sidewalk is so bloody now, very very bloody. teenagers are taking selfies and tiktik videos with the bloody sidewalk. no updates on when ill be getting my package of goods that have been backordered.
writing the wrong appointments for the wrong dates on my "hot guys holding cute animals" calendar opens up a all seeing portal that is an endless nightmare of incredibly ugly men holding incredibly ugly animals.
watercolor painting exercises i find online tend to occupy my freetime when i clock out of my factory job. when i return to my factory job the following mornings to tape up cardboard boxes, my coworkers ask me what i did the night before. if i told them what i had actually done the night before, they would certainly exile me and my bags of beef jerky during lunch breaks. so, instead, i tell them i spend my work free evenings packing boxes for a move that will never happen. they pick me up by their cut up industrial hands, cheer, and parade me around the factory floor. the hope will keep them going for another week.
tonight i threw on my usa leather motorcycle vest with no shirt on underneath and a pair of long johns. i thought to myself, i think this is what america is supposed to feel like. instead, i feel the oogilie boogilies. :/
lying is nothing for me. i can lie about anything and everything. what do i get out of lying? sooooo many exotic bugs delivered directly to my doorstep.
when i was a teenage gay boy, it was nothing for me to go shopping for hours and hours, because that is what a teenage gay boy is supposed to enjoy. shops like sharper image, brooks brothers outlets, xbox mountain dew lounge. just takes two puffs off of a menthol cigarette to 180 and begin spiraling.
chicken soup for the soul is such a lie, chicken soup is not good for the soul. tearing out the hangnails with drag racing cars and shutting a book on your penis are.
okay, my fan broke down, it wont work, im relying on sissyboys to fan me with palm leaves, i verbally abuse them until they cry, i hope their kidneys fail them, so that i wont have to deal with their drama
printing off so many pages of shipping labels meant for the fbi, cia, fda, walmarts in the south, small town farm cooperatives, establishments that wont mind me sending them my mixtapes
riding him feels like the late summer nights when the silverfish scurry up and down the spinal curve of my back
my headache wont go away, the pain is excruitiating, the flashbacks are getting stronger, my previous life is becoming clearer, i had a successful career as a silent film star, i regret bringing lymes disease to the states after i couldnt get work and had to make a life for myself in what is modern day estonia
juul this, juul that, how about you develop an addiction to licking my ass
a denim tote bag to keep my hamster bedding and hamsters in < 3
"dog dad" oh, so that means you fucked a dog.
i remember the summer evenings snoopy and i would rip mad cigs on his roof while he would tell me what chicks got the biggest labias.
falling down the stairs is just the aggresive angels that didnt pass their anger management courses pushing you. heaven allows many such things. new literature is written in wing dings. morse code is considered a language of the deviant. this is why ships full of navy sea men would sink after communicating about their sinking ships in morse code.
when i turned five years of age, i did invent many things that are now earning multiple corporations billions of dollars. i am not receiving a penny for these inventions. i was not knowledgeable in contract law at this point in my life.
youre offered meth once and then all of a sudden you really wish you could redo the experience so that it feels a bit more storybook
we are the daughters of the counterfeit peptides
you take a pot, melt a bunch of hot glue sticks in the pot, let it cook for upwards of 12 hours, the house air will taste oh so good. youve barely been getting by on the nutrition of the microplastics. all plastics are polymers, but not all polymers are plastics. sprinkle in macroplastics, big strong boy.